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Mummers Play Characters:

Old Father Christmas/Abraham
King George
Beau Romer
Beau Slasher
The Doctor
Turkish Knight
Trim Tram


Beau Romer

In comes I, Beau Romer, Beau Romer is my name. I'm come to show you merry sport to pass away the winter. Old activity, new activity, Such activity that never have been seen before, and never will be seen no more.

Father Abraham
In comes, I Old Father Abraham, Welcome or welcome not, I hope old father Abraham will never be forgot. Room! Room! Gallons of room, For in this place there shall be shown The dreadfullest battle that ever was known. Betwixt King George and my two sons. Walk in King George, walk in!

King George
In Comes I, King George, The man of courage bold. With my sword and buckler at my side, I won ten crown of gold. It was I who fought the fiery dragon and brought him to the slaughter; and by means of this, and that, I won the King of Egypt's daughter. Now see me draw my English weapon. Is there a man in this fair land that I can't cut down with my credit hand?

Beau Romer
In comes I, Beau Romer. Beau Romer is my name. I'll fight King George and take away his fame. For in less than three minutes, I'll take thy life away. So battle to battle you and I shall call, to see which on this ground shall fall.

King George
Battle to battle you and I shall play to see which on this ground shall lay. So mind your hits and guard your blows.

Beau Romer
Likewise your face and eyes and nose.

All
Also! (King George kills Beau Romer)

Father Abraham
Walk in Beau Slasher, let's see what you can do.

Beau Slasher
In comes I, Beau Slasher, Beau Slasher is my name. I'm come to fight King George and all his noble train.

King George
Ah, my friend, King George is here, and I shall quickly take the life from thee, or thee from me. So prepare yourself to fight, for satisfaction I will have before you go this night.
Beau Slasher
No satisfaction at all, King George, for in less than three minutes, I'll take thy life away. So, battle to battle you and I shall call, to see which on this ground shall fall.

King George
Battle to battle you and I shall play to see which on this ground shall lay. So mind your hits and guard your blows.

Beau Slasher
Likewise your face and eyes and nose.

All
Also! (King George kills Beau Slasher)

Father Abraham
You knock kneed, knackered old nose bag, See what you've done, You've killed my two sons, lays bleeding on the ground. Oh doctor,doctor, is there a noble-handed doctor to be found that can cure my two sons lays bleeding on the ground. 5 for a doctor!

King George
10 to stay away

Doctor
15 and a Bupa card and I'll come in.

Father Abraham
All right but hurry up, we havn't got all day!

Doctor
In comes I, the doctor.

Father Abraham
And how comes you to be a doctor?

Doctor
By my travels.

Father Abraham
And what, pray are your travels?

Doctor
Italy, Whitely, France & Spain, Twice round Wareham and back again.

Father Abraham
And what can you cure, noble-handed doctor?

Doctor
Ipsy, Pipsy, Palsy, Gout, Pains within and pains without, Heal the sick and cure the lame, Raise dead men back to life again.

Father Abraham
You'd best try your skills on these two lads, Lays bleeding on the ground.

Doctor
I have a little bottle at my side, the fame of which spreads far and wide. The stuff therein is elecampane, it'll bring the dead back to life again. A drop on the heart, A drop on the skull, will make em alive and open their eyes, and see what I have done! (Beau Romer & Beau Slasher arise)

Turkish Knight
In comes I, the Turkish Knight, on Turkey land I learned to fight. I'll fight King George the man of courage bold, and if his blood be hot, I'll fetch it cold.
King George
Ho, Ho, my little fellow, your talk is rather bold. Just like those little mummer boys, or so that I've been told. Pull out your sword to fight, pull out your purse to pay. For satisfaction I will have before you go away.

Turkish Knight
No satisfaction at all, for my head is made of iron, my body lined with steel. I'll fight King George to see who on this ground shall kneel.

King George
Ha, I'll quickly take the life from thee, or thee from me.

Turkish Knight
So, battle to battle you and I shall call, to see which on this ground shall fall.

King George
Battle to battle you and I shall play to see which on this ground shall lay. So mind your hits and guard your blows.

Turkish Knight
Likewise your face and eyes and nose.

All
Also! (King George & Turkish Kight fight - Turkish Knight on bended knee)

Turkish Knight
Down on my bended knee, proud Turk to thee, Oh, spare my life, a Turkey slave to be.

King George
Arise, proud Turk, arise. Go home to thy land to fight, go home to thy land to tell, what Champion George hath done for for Old England so well.

Turkish Knight
Now, I am going home, pray give me my free discharge. God bless the King of England, Likewise his champion George!

Trim Tram
In comes I, Trim Tram, left from Press Gang. Press all you brave fellows to sea, to fight the French and Spaniard. Although my name is Johnny Jack, with my wife and family on my back. Although my family is but small, I thinks myself best man of all.

Father Abraham
You thinks yourself best man of all! I knowed your father years ago, Bought pigs off him. They growed so thin he had to put yokes on em to stop em running down the sink hole! I think I'll take a rap or two at thee myself. (Trim Tram kills Father Abraham and sits on him)

Trim Tram
Good Masters and Good Mistresses, see what I've been and done. I've knocked Old Father Abraham down, just like the setting sun. So here I sits and takes my ease. Ladies and Gentlemen, give what you please!
       
   
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